That is how long it takes for every cell in your body to be replaced. It has been two years since I have started the change. I still have a ways to go. I've matured in many ways, and I find myself no longer falling into the depressive spirals I used to experience when I first started this site. But I still experience a deep anguish. A crawling from deep within me. A rot. My mind and body remember the past and I want them to forget. Sometimes when I look in the mirror my eyes expect to see the Other Me. Sometimes I remember what its like to have been that person. I can't stand it. It disgusts me. I want to kill Him and bury his memories.
The change is no longer internal. My relationship with many of those I did not lose after my change has shifted. Those who I used to get along with so well, I now find myself somewhat disturbed by some of the things they say. Some do not notice this fundamental change within me, though others, I remember the look of confusion they had when they met me again, wondering what happened to Him. Though those people have now familiarised themselves with me, sometimes I wonder if they question what happened to that Person. Sometimes I wonder if they miss Him. Some do, I know.
Am I selfish for wanting the world to forget? Am I selfish for wanting to have always been this way? Am I selfish for tearing everything He built down? Am I selfish for cursing at those who created Him and suffocated me?
Am I selfish for wanting to be me, even if it means killing the old self?